weekwizard

Abilities overview
Patchouli is a magician youkai. As the name no doubt implies, she is rather adept at magic, her focus being the seven seven elements of wood, fire, water, metal, earth, sun, and moon, one for each day of the week. However, she has shown to be able to alter this element structure to the five Western elements of Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, and Void. She is also aware of other element structures, but prefers to use the two mentioned.

However, in addition to her elemental focus, Patchouli has the ability to use any sort of magic in existence, given time to study it, a trait inherent of all natural magicians in Gensokyo. The time needed to study and be able to use any sort of magic depends on the complexity of the spell. Simple, Vancian-style spells can be analyzed and used in a matter of minutes, while complex, powerful incantations may take days or even weeks of study and review before she can pull it off. Each is a case-by-case basis, and will be taken as such.

So. The question I pose to you is this. Can Patchouli learn to use your magic?

Now, I will ask specific permission to do so upon each circumstance. This is just a general inquiry to know if I should bother asking or not.

There are limits to her ability, however. Psionic things like telepathy and related mental powers she cannot learn, as well as high-end divine magic (ie, magic derived from the power of a god and one's own piety; miracles and the like. She is a little better with demonic spells, though, given her devil familiar and consorting with people like Remilia and Flandre for well over a century.). In addition, 'magic' based around physical ability, such as chi or chakra, she simply does not have the physical ability for. The same applies for magical artifacts of any sort: She can analyze the nature of the magic and use it just as she can from a person.

I'll even give you a form.

<b>Name / Journal:</b> <b>Is Patchy allowed to learn your magic?</b> <b>Comments / Questions:</b>

Again, this is just a general overview. Each instance will be taken individually, and even then, it will only be one or two spells, not anywhere close to the full extent of their abilities.

The Scions of the Seventh Dawn may be busy preparing for the journey to Ala Mhigo and Doma, but the journey is still far off and your mind too full of recent tragedies and victories. You have time to kill.

So you find yourself wandering into one of your favorite haunts you’ve discovered on your journey in order to take some time to relax and think. Maybe you’ve just finished your favorite meal, or polished off a good ale and had some laughs with the other patrons. You’re in a corner of a quaint little pub, the crowd relaxed and murmuring all around, but suddenly you find your table somehow empty.

Save for you. The Warrior of Light.

And that’s where she finds you: a shrewd Seeker girl, dusty and wild and on the trail of a juicy story. You don’t know where she came from. You don’t know how she found you. You don’t even know her name or who she works for, and you definitely don’t know how she seems to know everything about what you’ve accomplished up until now.

All you know is this: the moment she jabs her pen toward your face as if it were a handheld clockwork voice-recorder, you realize she isn’t going to leave you alone until you answer her questions.

All of her questions.

[TL;DR: Your player character Warrior of Light has been cornered by a reporter for a magazine. What initially seems to be a legitimate and thought-provoking interview, however, quickly reveals itself to be fodder for a gossip rag fueled on accusations that are either eerily true or totally sensationalist. This is a character voice exercise, meaning the responses only need be truthful if the character in question would tell the truth! Also, please feel free to embellish or skip particular questions as it suits your fancy.]

WARNING: Questions contain spoilers for various major story events up to and including patch 3.56. View with care!



“Your reputation precedes you as a Warrior of Light - perhaps even the Warrior of Light - but how would you introduce yourself?”

"The name on my mishandled paperwork upon entering Eorzea read "Patchi Connaissance", but my proper name is Patchouli Knowledge. I have many titles, but the one I tend to go with these days is simply "Scholar", though not just of the popular Nymian variety."

“What inspired you to take up adventuring? Any family or friends from home cheering you on? Where did you grow up?”

Where I grew up is of little concern, but most of my youth was spent in a vast library, reading and studying its contents. I would have been quite content to stay there, but a certain incident drove me out into the world. Being an adventurer was not my choice, though I suppose I did take to it rather well after a while."

"That should be vague enough. Patchy would rather not let slip that she isn't from this world at all, as that would cause much undue confusion. Better to keep it simple and vague.

“What combat and/or trade specialties do you study? Did you have any particular training before joining the Scions of the Seventh Dawn?”

"I had some experience with arcanamia when I started, and the Scions took notice of me, but my true skill lies in the realm of black magic. I still practice a form of arcanamia, however, incorporating the modern teachings of Limsa's Arcanist guild with fae healing magics and battle tactics of ancient Nymian scholars. Aside from that, I have also repurposed older and more primal black magics for melee combat when the need arises, emulating the styles of a Dark Knight without having to deal with the annoying 'power through pain and suffering' bit.

All that said, I have dabbled in just about every major discipline found in Eorzea in order to get a fuller understanding of how aether functions with different fighting styles. I have rather interesting findings, but those will have to wait until I can finalize and publish my research."

“How do you prepare yourself before a coming battle? How do you ready yourself mentally?”

"The best way is to know what you're getting into. Know the area, what you may be facing, what resources you and any threats have access to, so on, and so forth. Even against an unknown enemy, it is possible to glean some useful information from related subjects. For example: primals are simply aggregations of the will of their followers, and as such, tend to follow battle tactics similar to those that summoned them."

"Of course, there is an element of uncertainty present in every situation, and I don't have all resources available to me at every moment, but even then, there are standard practices I can fall back on and adapt as the situation requires."

“What do you find hardest about being on the road so often? Do you enjoy traveling so much?”

"Logistics, mostly. When traveling by myself, it's not much an issue, but with even a small group, keeping track of supplies can be a nightmare, and that is only if everyone involved is cooperating."

“Describe the most beautiful place you’ve seen on your journey.”

"Hm... Hidden in the Dravanian Hinterlands is the Great Gubal Library, a Sharlayan building that houses a collection of knowledge that would rival even the grandest of Garlean repositories. Shelves of books are stacked as far as the eye can see, with stories upon stories of collected and organized knowledge and literature. It used to be even more grand, but it has been abandoned for years, and overrun with voidsent. However, I still see potential in it, and I spend some of my spare time doing what I can to drive out the vermin and restore it."

“Do you have any advice for the greenhorns just now starting their own adventures in search of greatness?”

"Do not delude yourself by getting caught up in the excitement of bards' tales and written legends. Adventuring is a dangerous, unforgiving occupation, and for every story of success, there are a thousand dead and failed attempts. Further, do not think you will be able to do it alone. You will need help, preferably a close-knit group of allies with whom you can share the journey. While I am credited with 'saving the world' as it were, I only played a small part in a large plan, involving dozens of key players, hundreds of organizers, and thousands of soldiers, each playing their part. Cooperation with friends and allies is how those grand feats of legend were carried out. If you cannot handle that, then you will be a corpse at the feet of the first pair of bandits you come across who can."

“What do you think the smallfolk of each city-state could do to make Eorzea a better place?”

"See my last answer. Change is driven by cooperation. If you cannot figure out how to do something, find someone who can, or get a bunch of people who want to do that thing and figure it out."

“What do you value most in life?”

"Knowledge. Understanding. Knowing how the world works. Wars are won with intelligence and information, and prevented entirely with an understanding of who you would otherwise be fighting. Many, many conflicts and problems can be prevented if you simply have a fuller understanding of both sides of the situation."

“If you could do it all over again, is there anything you would change? Anything you would have done differently?”

"No. We are little more than the collection of our thoughts and experiences. Changing our past would change us, not to mention the myriad of temporal paradoxes that would bring up. Perhaps if I have time I will share the story of Alexander, and how it tried to change the past."

“Is there anything you’re actually afraid of?”

"...I cannot recall. Primal fear for survival is one thing, but a true fear? By this point, I have seen too much to be bothered."
In truth, there was something, but like hell she's going to explain that to a reporter of all things.

“As a Scion, are there any causes in which you find yourself personally invested?”

"'Not letting people die horribly' is a start, but that applies to everything the Scions do. Truly, however, my primary concern in working for them is the balance of power of the city-states, and making sure they continue to work together. If that falls apart, nothing else can be achieved."

“As the Warrior of Light I'm sure you have no end of choices in where to dine, and it sounds like you can't trust just anyone to serve you a mug of ale these days. Do you have a specific chef you prefer, or do you prefer to make your own meals? How do you plan your schedule, meals included?”

"On the road, the group I most often travel with tend to rotate out cooking duty between us. Aside from that, I eat most often with the other Scions, or at certain trusted locations in each city-state. For example, I know the Bismark in Limsa Lominsa takes enough pride in its food to not allow their meals to be tampered with, and I am on good terms with the head chef there. If he doesn't make me something, I step back into the kitchen to make it myself."

“I know most adventurers these days have access to glamour prisms. How important to you is your 'look'?”

There's a deep, exasperated sigh as Patchy attempts to close the front of her coat and fails, leaving her black bra for all to see.

"I have a... complicated relationship with glamour prisms. Something about my personal aether tends to cause prisms to go off on their own around me, and as luck would have it, always end up changing my outfit to something... unnecessarily revealing. I've tried dispellers, but they don't work, leaving me with outfits like this, or worse. It's as if the powers that be want me to show myself off to the world... I've since given up in trying to fight it. I'm loathe to say I've gotten used to showing skin, but it does not bother me now as much as it used to.

If nothing else, the outfits do tend to stay somewhat coordinated, and in my preferred colors, so it could be worse, all told."

“You’re known for having more than a few irons in the forge, so to speak. In addition to being part of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and on call to numerous battlefronts and political leaders, we hear you might be part of a Free Company as well. Can you tell us about your group? Do you have any exciting stories to share?”

"Wanderer's Haven? We're a group of people who have all been displaced from our homes. We founded the Company so we could at least have something to go back to after the latest battles are done. If nothing else, we make our home in the company of each other, no matter where we may end up.

As for stories... There's too many to tell just one, or perhaps there is just one, but it spans the entirety of our time here in Eorzea."

“You’ve been reported to frequent the Manderville Gold Saucer exceptionally often. Is this because of your ongoing unusual relationship with the family, or might we suspect you have quite the gambling problem?”

"While I am on good terms with the family, my time at the Gold Saucer has nothing to do with it. I don't do much there; simply the jumbo and mini cactpots, and the timed events that pop up every so often. It's a fair place to unwind without the threat of death, and most attractions can turn into reliable sources of points with the right affinity for statistics and probability."

"That, and I wanted some of the prizes they were offering. A flying chair is very useful when dealing with bookshelves as high as the ones I have are.

“What is your opinion on the Ala Mhigan resistance movement and its recent rejuvenation?”

"Inevitable, really. If a people are conquered, it's only natural that they will fight back, as after one has taken everything, there isn't much more to lose. My only concern is the methods they've employed are questionable, at best, and short-sighted and self-defeating, at worst. They've created more problems than they hope to solve alone, and now we must intervene before the situation goes critical and more pointless deaths are inflicted on both sides."

“We couldn’t help but notice that during the Grand Melee between the city-states of the Eorzean Alliance, you fought on behalf of Ishgard. Is that where your loyalties now lie, or do you still don the colors of one of the Grand Companies?”

"That battle was a personal favor to the Lord Commander, and served to cement Ishgard's place in the Alliance. It was a balancing act, to offset the Flame General's presence.

At the end of the day, however, I still do more work for the Maelstrom than anything else. They're the group that tends to get the most done with the least amount of internal strife, an they need what help they can get, contending with two beast tribes and the Garlean navy."

“What are your thoughts on Ishgard returning to the alliance now that the Dragonsong War is over? Are you skeptical of their ability to collaborate with other states after their isolationist tendencies in the past?”

"Not at all. There will be some conflict, both internally and externally, but the major force for staying isolationist has been... eliminated, so to speak. With Amyeric at the helm, they will be fine, at the end of the day, and the Alliance as a whole will be better for it."

“Do you condone the murder of Syndicate member Teledji Adeledji in light of the Sultana being revealed to have a clean bill of health?”

"Successful or not, attempted murder is still attempted murder, and what's done is done. It did more good than harm, and served to reveal a few other bits of corruption to root out. Messy, but necessary."

“Death and tragedy seem to follow you Scions wherever you go! Rumor has it that you even lost one of your members during the siege of Baelsar’s Wall. Could you ever have imagined seeing so many of your friends die before you when you first set out on your journey?”

"Death is a definite hazard for this job, and every one of us have to accept that if we are to get anything done. Papalymo was aware, and went out to save the rest of us from his fate. He will be missed, but he will be remembered, and we will keep fighting for his sake, just as we do for every ally that falls. Moenbryda, Haruchefant, Louisoix, Ysayle. Minfilia, each and every person that bought us the time we needed to complete our mission... We move on for them. We remember them, and press forward, to make something of their sacrifice."

“If you had the choice, would you rather be an ale wench in a pub in Limsa Lominsa or a dancing girl of Ul’dah’s streets? Why?”

"I... what? That is a rather abrupt change of subject, don't you think? Quite frankly, I would turn both those down and find something more in line with my skills. Let's move on."

“One of my sources tells me you recently had the honor of having a private dinner with Ishgard’s Lord Commander himself! How would you describe the… nature of your relationship? ♡”

"There were nine of us there. I highly doubt it was anything past a friendly gesture."

“If you could spend a night alone with any notable individual you’ve met on your journeys, who would it be and why?”

"...I know what you mean by this, and I refuse to stoop to such levels of depravity."

“We've heard you've done an exclusive nude session with a very popular Ul'dahn magazine! Any word on that?”

"What?! I would sooner burn a publication like that before reading it, much less pose for one? Either you have poor sources, or there is an imposter out there that I will need to deal with."

“I just have to ask, for all the interested lads and lasses out there: are you single?”

"Single? Yes. But no, I am not interested. I have no time for romance or any of that nonsense."

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
Player Name: Scott
Player Journal: vkzicak
Age: 21
Contact: Zicak, AIM: vkzicak
Characters Played: Otenko taiyoooohhh

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name: Patchouli Knowledge
Canon: Touhou Project
OU/AU/OC: AU (Memories from Gargleblasted / Mostly Harmless)
Canon Point: After 12.3 in-canon, and 2+ years in Gargleblasted.
History: Wiki link
CANON HISTORY
Patchy is a century-old recluse living in the library in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, home of the Scarlet vampire sisters. She and her servant, Koakuma, serve as the mansion's librarians, keeping the place organized and clean. All of her time is spent in that library, reading or studying, and thus she rarely exits. There have only been three recorded cases where she is outside at all, each of which she was investigating some crisis or commotion.

The first case was during the events of Immaterial and missing Power, where an oni spread her influence to create a strange mist that triggered an epidemic of partying and festivals. Patchy left the library to investigate after the event was brought to her attention by Marisa Kirisame, who was snooping around for an answer to the mist herself. Conversations with other characters notes that Patchy prefers to not answer straight questions asked of her, though she is direct and concise when asking questions for herself, overall not too fond of talking to others in general.

The second outing was during Scarlet Weather Rhapsody, an event wherein strange weather patterns were present throughout Gensokyo. Patchy was the first to notice the weather's tie to the characters' temperaments and abilities. As with the last outing, Patchy prefers to not talk too much to others, though this time she resorts to force more willingly for the sake of experimentation.

Her last outing was, admittedly, not much an outing at all. She assists Marisa with an underground excursion, Marisa going in to do the work while Patchy remained in the library and remotely gave intelligence and support. She is more open in giving info this time around, but will still leave Marisa to deal with some opponents on her own as she researches the situation.

GARGLEBLASTED HISTORY

Patchouli's life took a sharp turn for the weird when she was taken from her home and deposited on the S.S. Thor, a giant turtle-shaped city-ship that picks up refugees from "destroyed worlds" and ferries them across the universe to find the mythical Magrathea, the planet-building planet. Evidently, the fact that Patchouli was here means that she, too, was a refugee, and Gensokyo had been destroyed. She did not take this too well, having lost her vast library, way of life, house, and friends. Fortunately, it seemed that Flandre and Meiling had survived, as well, and had been on the ship for a while before her.

And so began Patchy's stay on the Thor, dealing every month with whatever crazy incident the ship's Improbability Drive caused and dealing with the strange myriad of other people from other worlds, and several from Gensokyo. So many, in fact, that they were able to create a small pocket dimension on the ship, called New Gensokyo. Alas, nothing was permanent on this Thor, and her friends, both new and old, come and go with the months. It only served to reinforce her asocial behavior, knowing that anyone she made friends with could disappear at a moment's notice.

Regardless, Patchouli managed to eke out a living by becoming a professor at the Thor's local university, teaching magic theory to students, magical and non-magical alike. In addition, she became a founding member of a magic guild, headed by one Lemina Asua, which served to give various spellcasters a place to learn from each other. And make money. Lemina was all about making money. Patchy wasn't, though. She was more interested in all the sorts of magic.

Aside from that, here are some other events that went on during her stay:
-Kidnapped and forced to fight in a gladiatorial arena, where she did rather well and even befriended a space dragon.
-Learned teleportation magic from a world-hopping magician-vampire sort of thing.
-Got into many a magical mishap, which resulted in all sorts of things from turning into a bunny to casting a feeblemind spell on herself. Fun times.
-Constructed a smaller version of the Scarlet Devil Mansion in New Gensokyo because screw paying rent in the Thor's rooms.
-Learned how to play Quidditch against her will
-Became a window model for a lingerie shop against her will
-Worked as a judge during some witch hunts against her will (There's a pattern here. Quite a common occurrence on the Thor, really.)

But if you want more of her Thor life, here's a sampler.

Eventually, however, the wormholes claimed her just as they had everyone else, whisking her away to some other universe, one filled with less British humor and spaceships, and more colorful ponies.

Personality: Patchouli lived for the vast majority of her life (over a century, though the exact timing is unknown) in the Scarlet Devil Mansion's vast basement library, reading, studying magic, and generally being asocial. As such, she does not hold much regard for things like social norms and politeness and displaying any significant emotion. She is often very brief and blunt, approaching a person only to ask what she needs to know and leave without so much as a goodbye after that. She is not afraid to delve into sensitive topics if it suits her needs and is uncaring when the other person get offended. On the flip side, she is often dismissive of things asked of her and tends to only give straight answers if she knows the person well enough or stands to benefit from it. This isn't to say, however, that she is ignorant of social norms. She knows them well enough from reading books and can use them to her advantage, but more often than not she simply doesn't care.

Further, her lack of overt compassion is displayed prominently by the way she addresses others. She uses names only half the time, instead using a title or derogatory term to refer to them, and if there must be a name, it's surname only. First names are reserved for only her close friends.

She has since softened up during her stay on the Thor. Nearly two years of teaching students of all ages has led her to realize that pathos can be just as powerful a tool as logos at times, and has gained some patience when dealing with people seeking to learn from her, and even a fondness for children who show interest and curiosity. She is indeed capable of caring for others, quite deeply so, in fact, but that is reserved for only a few close friends and students, such as the others from the Mansion.

Another side effect from living in a library is that she has picked up many things from books and literature of all sorts, be it Earth classics that make their way through the Gensokian border, to locally-published works, to alien book on the Thor. she is often fond of quoting these when she gets the chance, both to show off a bit and demonstrate a point.

Strengths: Patchouli is the rawest definition of a wizard. She specializes in elemental magic, namely the seven elements for the Japanese days of the week, but she has been shown to be able to copy and use just about any spell she comes across, so long as she is given ample time to study it. Her power is based around control rather than sheer force, thus she is capable of casting very complex spells and even dual-casting two different elements at once. This comes in handy when dealing with the Gensokian way of solving all conflicts: danmaku duels. It is a non-lethal art, focusing more on looking pretty and filling the area with bullets so that the opponent can't dodge instead of pummeling them with force. Depending on the day, Patchouli can be quite good at it, rivaling even the best (She is an EX-midboss, after all).
Weaknesses: Physically, Patchouli's main weakness is her health. She is asthmatic, anemic, frail, and prone to sickness, all as a result of spending 99% of her time in a dusty basement filled with books. This cuts into her spellcasting ability, and can at times prevent her from reciting and casting her more powerful spell cards. If it wasn't for her magic, any random person of the street could probably get the best of her.

Socially, Patchouli has all the issues expected of a hermit: Emotionally distant, trouble making friends, and little patience for those of lesser intelligence and those that always seem to have way too much energy.
Possessions:
-A grimoire containing notes on many of her spells, as well as spells gathered from others on the Thor.
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a memento of her time on the Thor. Due to it not being in the right universe, many of its functions, such as the whole "guide" part of it, will be non-functional unless she enters in the information herself. Its communication features are disabled, as well. It's more of a glorified digital notebook than anything else by this point, but it does look nice with the words "DON'T PANIC" on the front cover and the gold-colored metal bindings and gems that Patchy used to decorate the thing.
Pony/Animal Type: Unicorn. She's a wizard. The choice is pretty obvious.
Cutie Mark: A yellow crescent moon, overlaying a sigil.
Pony Picture: Yyyyep.

SAMPLES
First Person: I suppose it was only a matter of time before the wormholes claimed me, as well. I must say I am disappointed, however. I should have returned to Gensokyo, not this place. Being turned into a unicorn only complicates this further...

[A sigh.]

I feel bad, leaving Flandre on her own up there, but I suppose there is nothing to be done at this point. The universe has seen fit to deprive me of my library once again and strand me in a foreign place.

...At least there's no Drive here. It seems I may gather my bearings in peace, without fear of daily chaos.

[With that, Patchouli refers to what appears to be a book, but it's glowing, and not just because of the magic that she seems strangely comfortable using. A screen, perhaps?]

Nothing. Of course it refuses to work when I need it. Though, judging by the... odd color of this unicorn form, I would venture a guess that I have ended up in Equestria. It seems consistent with those that would show up on the Thor.

...I wonder if any of them remember me?

Third Person: Patchouli had long since realized that the universe was a strange place. Aliens of all shapes and sizes, wormholes that have no regard for time and space, magic of all sorts, technology beyond comprehension... She had seen it all on the Thor, and after a while, it all became mundane. Having your entire house turn into a lava-filled castle? Annoying, but not out of the ordinary. Getting kidnapped to become a gladiator? Been there, done that. Visiting a planet made entirely of booze? Almost expected, really. Nothing was surprising to her.

But then this happened and suddenly she's a pony sitting in the middle of some strange town filled with ponies. Out of the things she was expecting when she got wormholed, this was not high on the list. Or even on the list at all. Once again, the universe decides to reassert that it is a hell of a strange place, and no matter how much Patchouli tried to understand it, it would always get the best of her.

The thought was frustrating, to say the least. It seems that stability in her life was not going to be an option. A depressing fact, but one that she cannot fight against. Patchouli looks up at the evening sky, wanting to curse the heavens, but refraining. Yelling would do no good. Throwing a fit would accomplish nothing. Boy, did she want to, but no. Now's not the time. It is more important at the moment to make sure she has shelter for the night, as well as food. And a library or bookstore.

And thus, Patchy gathers up the Guide and grimoire that came with her, the only link she had to her past life, and starts to walk. If she's got to start over, so be it. She won't let the universe get the best of her that easily.